![]() I remind myself that no mental state is fixed. When they do, I try and accept the thoughts rather than battle them, remembering what my therapist has taught me about catastrophic thinking being part of my anxious brain’s way of trying to keep me safe. ![]() Thankfully, since I sought help, and can now manage things a lot better, such moments happen far less. ![]() I’d absolutely believe things would never be different. As someone who lived with anxiety for well over a decade without seeking help or really telling anyone, I can tell you that, in times of great frustration with myself and how my anxiety manifested, I’d look in the mirror and think: you’ve completely fucked it. Anyone who knows their inner critical voice too well will know how it feels to believe that who you are, your essence, is the thing preventing you from having a good life. Living with a propensity for low mood and anxious thoughts or behaviour can do funny things to our sense of who we are and what we’re capable of. Life may be different for a while but it can, and will, go on. ![]() They can, and do, provide relief and a fresh start for many. These are not decisions to be made light of, of course, because they do have considerable impact, but the restrictions they place on us do not last forever. I might feel like I’ve completely let myself or my family down. If I am contemplating bankruptcy or a debt-relief order, it’s likely to make a big dent in my self-esteem and motivation. Still, no one has a strong psychic constitution all the time, and there are universal problems that can shake anyone’s sense of who they are and what the rest of their life will look like.ĭebt, for example – something that affects so many of us – may feel, in the moment, like it’s going to define and restrict us forever. If we are prone to mental health issues such as anxiety or depression, to grit our teeth and push on can be difficult when things go wrong. Our general mental state and level of emotional resilience will determine how quickly we descend into catastrophic thinking. In the aftermath of a crime, do the perpetrators have a sense of what it means for the rest of their life? When does regret set in? No one is born violent, so we have to ask what has happened, or is happening, for those involved to seemingly place so little value on the future – both that of others, and their own. In the case of violent gang crimes, often involving teenagers and young adults, tit-for-tat moral mathematics seems to be the driving force. Perhaps their early experiences were so chaotic or damaging that their value system doesn’t include what others do. However, there are also people for whom life – or a significant stretch of time – spent in prison does not equate with “ruin”. In the face of knowing that the perimeter of your world is going to be four concrete walls until you die, or that even upon release you will be indelibly marked with your crime, you can see where they’d be coming from. There are undoubtedly swaths of people within it who are incredibly regretful of the crimes they’ve committed those who, in cases of murder or grievous harm that have brought life or extended sentences, may really believe they have ruined their own lives in the process. The prison system is interesting to think about in this context. What constitutes damage will differ from person to person, based on our value systems and the different sense of worth we attach to things – the product of our life experiences, memories and all the meanings we embody along the way. “Ruin” implies irrevocable damage of some kind, but is a wildly subjective concept. There can be a delicious sense of freedom in saying “Sod it, everything’s ruined,” even if, somewhere, we rationally know it probably isn’t.Īll of this is very abstract, of course. This is because when our thoughts and beliefs are in chaos, settling on a neat narrative is easier on the mind. In a perverse way, it may be easier psychologically to hold on to the faint assumption that I have completely messed things up for myself. What happens next is an eternal, torturous unknown. Whatever I have done that has led to me posing this question (to a search engine, another person or myself), I am craving some kind of portal into an unlived future. This irrational, exaggerated way of thinking is sometimes referred to as cognitive distortion, and is fertile ground for anxiety and unpleasant emotions. Some of us are more prone to catastrophic thinking (not just imagining negative outcomes, but assuming that said outcomes will be disastrous) than others, but it’s probably something we all do to some degree when things feel uncertain.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |